Saturday, May 22, 2010

When parents act unreasonably

May is phone-call month: most of the people in my family and also a good number of friends (and also my husband) decided they had to be born in May. 
How blame them?After June, this is a perfect month to come to the world.
Point is that I don't quite like phone-calls; if it wasn't for the kids I'd probably feel entitled to just call my family once a month. 
Because sometimes, talking with my mom, I have the impression she's got so many more important things to do...
"Sorry, I got to go out with my friends" or "Ok, now I'll do something useful" or "The pan is on the stove and my roast-beef must be burning" are some of the typical sentences my mom would use to quit our conversations. 
As if she was annoyed and as if I would be calling her every day.

Hey, what's the matter???

One of the things that make me hate calling is that she would always mention how much space our house has. What???
Did she see that?Nope.
Did I ever tell her we have a huge house?Nope.

Just because we were living in an apartment in Berlin, this doesn't mean that now we have lot more space. Not at all!
True, we have an upper floor, which we don't use because we don't need more bedrooms. Unless we have guests.
And it seems to me she is pissed because even though we have "so much room" she isn't our guest. That's ridiculous. And unfair!
I spent more than a phone-call trying to convince her to come over but no, no, no...excuses after excuses she doesn't want to.
What can I do about it?I won't be able to have her and someone else (because this is what she needs, someone to hang out with while I am busy doing something else). And this all "If you could just have come back sooner" doesn't sound so true. It sounds more like "At least, when you are in Berlin you can come over every two or three months and I don't have to do the effort to come visit myself".

Guess it wouldn't make sense to have an argument with her (which is a favorite past time when we spend more than one hour together) and trying even more to convince her to come over wouldn't bring much.

I suppose my sister would have a more reasonable opinion on the matter, but me...I don't get it.
And in the end I am ok...well, at least I wouldn't have too feel guilty in case she's either bored or too tired or just not interested in doing things other than turning my underpants on the drying line so they can be dry faster - I don't do that, why should my mother do it?!!!
And no, I don't give a damn if the lamp has dust, as long as my brain hasn't!!!

So, when next week I'll call home to congratulate my dad I'll certainly have a more interesting conversation.


alessia said...

Quando per colpa di una mamma un po' sui generis come la nostra sei in preda dell'esasperazione più totale, pensa solo a due parole:

Mari said...

giá...almeno non dobbiamo sentirci come un quadro di Monch.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Ah, girl... you don't know my mother, so just trust me on this: I SO hear you!!

Mari said...

I had thought I was an exception... But as my sister pointed out we can consider us quite lucky...